Saturday, March 28, 2009

Worries now we are home.

I had a discouraging week. Cassie returned to school and I guess she lost alot of what she had learned during the school year. Her teacher said she is now down 4 reading levels. I really wonder if Cassie was ever as high in the reading levels as they thought. Does a child learn to read and then totally forget how to read in five weeks? I have never seen Cassie read unassisted. Even level one books we read to her and she reads after. Cassie is now guessing and has forgotten how to sound things out. Anyway, I felt discouraged and judged for taking her out of school. Not sure if people really understand how I try to balance out what is best for my girl.
I called the principal who reassured me that it may be a transition back to school (sort of like after summer holidays). I got a call from Cassie's school OT who was concerned on the first week back as well. Thankfully she is willing to set up a meeting at the school. Cassie now has three different EA's each day. How can this be effective for a little girl with learning disability? She cant even remember their names. I feel discouraged because it seems alot of people at her school have forgotten alot of Cassie's strategies in place on her IEP. She is getting no time with her assistive technology (clicker 5 or star fall). The EA's are writing things down for Cassie instead of letting her print. No part of ther IEP said to scribe for my daughter she knows how to print. To make matters worse Cassie wont sleep in her own bed, keeps waking at night and has had at least three melt downs this week. She did not display this behavior at camp. She was a leader, she thrived in her program. She did not struggle so much. It pulls at a parents heart strings. I am feeling sorry for Julia always behaving and Cassie demanding attention inappropriately. The transition back to school has been hard for Casssie. The teacher gave her a spelling test, despite me asking him not to and all the words were guessed, not even close and looked like another language. a Big discouraging 0 for a special needs girl with a brain injury. I dont want this kind of testing to discourage my upbeat child. Chris came home upset about the spelling test after we had asked to test her differently or on easier words. Cassie tried to memorize the words all week every night but to no avail.
Friday, I talked to the Learning Resource teacher. Told her how I was feeling and told her I feel discouraged. She gave me a large book on phonics and Cassie can do two pages a night. She was very reassuring. I need to straighten up and not show Cassie I am discouraged. Cassie has enough to worry about on her own.
I think the issue is now I am back to work. I am tired and feeling the pressure. Cassie is not doing any of her exercises. My house is a mess. My dog is having terrible behaviors peeing on the bed, growling and grabbing food from the table. I keep questioning why I got him as I thought a dog would make me feel more relaxed.
Cassie's foot is tighting after being locked into her AFO's as I cant make a decision about weather she should wear them or not. AFO's from morning to night and Cassie cant move her foot again. The muscles are weakening with lack of use.
Today I took Cassie to a new Chiropracter in Ancaster. She was very happy with Cassie's fit body and she worked on the weak foot imobolizing the calcaneous and looked at the pelvis and leg length discrepancy. She made some nice recommedations. Cassie worked on a small trapoline in her bear feet that is good for weight bearing on her left side. I like the new chiropractor and so did Chris and most importantly so did Cassie. The new chiropractor rides horses and Cassie and her had alot to talk about. Cassie's therapeutic riding lessons start again next week.
Cassie is going to have incompletes on her report card because I took her out of school. The teacher said he will put "not enough information". Dont bother sending a report card home. I can't beleive how far back Cassie fell academically and I feel discouraged. Back to square one with trying to advocate at Cassie's school. I cant beleive our Public library has no tutoring or no reading programs for little girls. I can't find anything at the Hamilton school board. I called the Hamilton Learning Disablity association and the number was out of service. I am broke, tired and discouraged. Chris may be better off to deal with the school until I get strong again. I told him to go to some of the meetings. Get a Dad's perspective.
My email outlines the challenges of raising a special needs girl. I can see why some parents get overwhelmed. I am going to stay strong about my decision to take Cassie out of school. It was a once in a life time opportunity to go to Ability camp. Cassie will have learning disability that will plague her her entire academic career and life is always a balancing act but I feel camp opened our eyes and I felt support from the other mothers.
This email outlines the reason for my blog. Writing is healing for me. I feel better just getting it out and venting. I will go to church tommorrow another place I feel relaxed and thank God for my blessings. We are all healthy and love each other. Spring is here and my trailer will open soon. Things I love that make me feel relaxed and back to the drawing board trying to teach my girl to read.

3 comments:

  1. Non illegitimi carborundum!

    Don't let the bastards grind you down (as as at times they might seem to). You have each other, you have your little girl and your faith in her future, you have the reassurance that around the world other strong, determined parents are struggling for the same thing.

    Mere words, I'm afraid, but the best that I can do at this remove.


    Andrew Sutton.

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  2. Hi Kathy,

    It is natural to feel discouraged when things do not turn out the way we want them too. Children react to different environments, and perhaps she had become accustomed to being at the camp with her peers, and now she is back into the regular school system. Time will heal this problem, and she will adapt herself to being back at her regular school. As for your little doggie, try Simple Solutions for getting the smell away, so that he will not return to the same spot.Also, cover the spot with plastic so he will forget the spot. Hopefully that will help.

    Dogs are wonderful but it is just like having another child around, they need lots of love and affection and also discipline.

    As parents, all people can do is the best they are capable of. As an older parent, I made many mistakes but it was never intentional and by the Grace of God, my two children turned out just fine. One of my children was learning disabled as well as had other problems and now she is coping with life quite well and has been married for well over twenty years. There is hope and never forget that.

    Your girls will be okay as well, keep on coming to the church, surround them with plenty of love and affection, and just carry on.......

    I have long learned that I cannot please everybody and have learned that if I feel comfortable about what I have done, then I go forward and do what I need to do.

    People will think what they want, and nothing will change that, dear girl!

    Just a few words to try and encourage all of you to carry on.....

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  3. Kate, this is one of, if not the best, report I have read, or been told, about the period of time after a conductive camp when the family return home.

    You have done so well and you all seemed to understand and embrace the concept of Conductive Education so fast.
    I am sure it will be possible for you to boost Cassie’s moral and your own by building all that she, and you, have learnt into your daily life. Cassie will soon see how her success in camp is helping her to be more independent in her day to day living.

    It will take a while for you to find the situations in Cassie’s daily life where she can use all the skills that she has recently learnt which is why I think it would be an appropriate time for a home visit, and a school visit, from one of Cassie’s conductors. is this at all possible?
    It would be especially helpful for you in finding the structure in your family life to suit a conductive upbringing and it would be so beneficial for the classroom assistants at Cassie’s school.

    I think you are doing amazingly well, you have achieved so much in such a short time.

    As Andrew said above “ mere words”, but sometimes mere words can help and if I can do anything more to help from over the many miles just let me know.

    Susie Mallett.

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